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The New Yorker
Shouts & Murmurs

A Vaccination Parable

By Steve Martin and Harry Bliss
August 4, 2025
Published in the print edition of the August 11, 2025, issue.

More Humor and Cartoons

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  • Jobs you can add to your résumé as a single person.

  • Learn to appreciate the small things.

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Steve Martin is an actor, a musician, and a writer. His memoir about his career, “Number One Is Walking,” was illustrated by Harry Bliss.
Harry Bliss has contributed cartoons and covers to The New Yorker since 1998. He is the author, with Steve Martin, of “A Wealth of Pigeons.” He also wrote the memoir “You Can Never Die” (2025).
Read More
Sketchpad
New Coins in the Crypto Reserve
Forget gold. Time to stock up on Eggcoin (very valuable) and Scamcoin (not a scam).
By Liana Finck
Shouts & Murmurs
It’s Time to Check In for Your D.E. Eye Exam
This vision test is far from routine—don’t forget that racism starts in the retinas.
Shouts & Murmurs
Date Ideas for Couples in Long-Term Relationships
Go about your normal evening, but with a candle lit.
By McKayley Gourley
Poems
“The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)”
“My ambition to be done with ambition / suffered a setback at my father’s funeral.”
By Bob Hicok
Poems
“Onions”
“Egyptians saw eternity / in your unspooling center.”
By Peter Balakian
Poems
“Astounding Stories”
“Fear of the foreign and the fear of being foreign.”
By Robert Pinsky
Sketchpad
Fragrances of Presidents Past
Now that Trump has released his new scent, “Victory 45-47” ($249), it’s time to sniff the competition.
By Barry Blitt
Shouts & Murmurs
The Aging Millennial’s Guide to Summer
Read an autofiction novel written by someone your age about how they’re way too old to be this pathetic and single.
By Jason Adam Katzenstein
Poems
“A Table”
“Is a table an argument or an understanding?”
By Hua Xi
Poems
“Girlfriends”
“Now we’re older we know who’s gotten sober / or been bitten by God or chewed and discarded / under a dirty bus shelter.”
By Kim Addonizio
Poems
“Rift”
“How is it you shed earlier selves and are more yourself with each shedding?”
By Arthur Sze
Shouts & Murmurs
The Psychic Significance of Your Wordle Starting Word
B U I L D: You have four hundred and ninety-nine LinkedIn connections, which is tantalizingly close to the coveted “500+” distinction.
By Brian Park
The New Yorker
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